The Wee God

Blantyre's Ain Website

Blantyre, Lanarkshire, Scotland

Poems about Blantyre

The Wee God

Blantyre Miners Welfare Badge

How wid ye like tae wield great power?
Dae ye fancy drinkin’ efter hours?
Frequent visits tae foreign places?
Or get cheap bevvy by the cases?

How wid ye like tae command respect,
And huv folk know yer always correct?
Or fraternise wi’ those in showbiz,
While tellin’ them how hard your job is?

How aboot money, is that yer scene?
Nae problem, if ye know whit Ah mean.
Tae qualify fur this employment,
Ye’ll huv tae meet aw these requirements:

Ye must be quick-tempered efter a few,
Ye definitely must huv a low IQ.
And when there’s trouble ye’ll huv tae act,
(Ye don’t need diplomacy or tact).

Yer uniform’s a demob jaikit,
Tae round it aff ye must look glaikit,
And there’s wan rule ye must remember,
“Make things hard fur guests and members.”

“Whit job can that be,” Ah hear ye say,
“Surely there’s nae wan like that today?”
But there is, believe me, it’s nae fluke,
Go tae ony social club and look.

Ye’ll see these wee men, a special breed,
Ye can tell wan by his swollen heid,
And a wee badge pinned tae his lapel,
“COMMITTEE MAN”, so behave yersel!

Lon McIlwraith
Copyright 1982, 2009


If you have any Poems… Send them to Bill

Blantyre, Lanarkshire, Scotland

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