A Wee Refreshment

“Never again,” he moans, wi’ red eyes,
Heid in his hauns an’ elbas on thighs,
“Trust Shug tae gie me that rum an’ coke,
The eejit knows it gies me the boke.”

Anither heave, an’ rush tae the sink,
By noo it’s the bile, whit a stink,
The cauld tap water splashes his face,
An’ shocks him awake tae his disgrace.

“C’mon John, pull yersel’ thegither!
Afore ye end up like yer faither!”
(He often gies himsel’ that warnin’,
No’ last night, but ae next mornin’.)

Wi’ a deep breath in, he stauns up straight,
He’s needin’ somethin’ tae cure his state,
The spinnin’ heid an’ the tremblin’ haun,
There’s nae Askits an’ the Irn Bru’s gone.

But then the phone rings, it’s Wee Shuggie,
“How dae ye feel Shug? Whit? You’re lucky!
Ah feel rotten, an’ it’s aw your fault,
That rum an’ coke disnae mix wi’ malt.”

Noo Wee Shuggie takes quite a bevvy,
He loves the whisky and the heavy,
An’ though he’s steamboats maistae the time,
He’s neither up nor doon, but just fine.

So he answers John wi’ this advice:
“Ah wis like that masel’ wance or twice,
There’s just wan way tae get riddae it,
An’ that’s tae get right back intae it!”

They met in the pub an hoor later,
Poor Johnny’s heid felt like a crater,
Shug orders up a double whisky,
An’ says tae John, “Right, get that doon ye!”

John lifted the gless an’ took a gulp,
An’ very near threw the lot back up,
He took anither, an’ held it doon,
An’ lo! he stertit tae come aroon!

Ten mins later he felt smashin’!
Wis drinkin’ in the best of fashion!
He said tae Shuggie, “Ye know, that’s great,
Back there Ah wis in an awfy state.”

Shug replied, “Noo ye know whit tae dae,
Tae chase yer hangover woes away,
A guid whisky soon cures yer ailment,
That’s why it’s ca’d A Wee Refreshment!”

~~~

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